The ACT Matrix: A Map to Awareness and Empowerment for Change

Imagine you wake up in the morning full of energy, looking forward to what you have planned for the day.  As you step into the kitchen to make your coffee, you think of the big presentation you have coming up for work.  Suddenly, you start feeling afraid and nervous as you imagine everything that could go wrong.  Thoughts of insecurity begin to flood your mind: “I can’t do this.  I don’t know enough to give this presentation.  This is going to be a disaster.”

The energy you felt getting out of bed is draining fast.  After pouring yourself a cup of coffee, instead of tackling your emails or the tasks you had planned to complete in the morning, you end up sitting on the couch and scrolling through Instagram.  Maybe you give up on the coffee altogether and go back to bed.  Or you pick a fight with your spouse when they walk into the kitchen to let out some of the stress and anxiety you’re feeling.

Later in the day, you think back and wonder, “How in the world did that happen?  My morning was going great, and then everything fell apart so quickly.  Why does this happen to me?”

Oftentimes, we find ourselves in frustrating patterns of behavior that make us unhappy, but we’re not quite sure how to change them.  Often these concerns lead people to seek out counseling.  They know there’s something wrong, but they just aren’t sure how to fix it.

Luckily, there is a tool for making sense of these thoughts, behaviors, and feelings: the ACT matrix.  It is a guide to seeing your behavior within the framework of what inner and outer experiences move you toward or away from what really matters to you.

The ACT Matrix

The ACT Matrix was developed out of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which emphasizes the balance between acceptance of your current reality (supported by mindfulness and self-soothing strategies) and commitment to change what is within your control (supported by behavior change strategies and skill-building).  The goal of this framework is to move toward change with compassion and self-understanding, integrating nonjudgmental awareness and making peace with challenging emotions and experiences.

The ACT matrix tool was developed as a way to visually represent this framework.  It was created by Kevin Polk, Jerold Hambright, and Mark Webster for use with trauma and addictions.

Credit: Dr. Kevin Polk

The matrix helps you see the function of your behaviors, or how and why they work (or don’t work) for you.  Understanding these foundations can help you take a more holistic, compassionate, and long-lasting approach to change.

The Horizontal Axis: Moving Toward vs. Away

Looking at the diagram above, you’ll notice a horizontal line with the labels “toward” and “away.”  This axis represents how we move in each of these two directions.  We have hard-wired biological responses that move us toward things that feel important to us and away from potential threats or what we do not want.  Consider the instincts of animals in the wild: they move toward things that provide something they need (food, shelter, other animals of their kind) and away from threats (predators, wildfires, humans). 

The Vertical Axis: Inner vs. Outer Experience

As humans, however, we don’t live our lives purely on instinct.  We can observe and respond to stimuli that are outside of ourselves, but we also have a vibrant inner world that influences and shapes our responses.  We can use reason, control impulses, make decisions, and weigh options.

The vertical axis on the diagram represents this shift between our inner and outer worlds.  Our outer experiences are things we do that other people could observe, including behaviors or actions.  Our inner experiences are what happens inside our mind and body: thoughts, feelings, sensations, decisions, etc.

In every moment of our lives, we exist somewhere on this vertical line.  Either we are more connected to our internal world, absorbed by the thoughts and feelings associated with it.  Or we are more connected to the outer experience, what we’re doing or what’s happening around us.

The Matrix as a Road Map

Consider that each of these axes are a continuum.  Rather than living in all-or-nothing, this matrix provides a road map to identify what can move you closer to one side or the other.  There are a range of possibilities to explore along each of these lines.

Creating Your Matrix Map

Now, let’s consider how you can reflect on your personal values to fill out this road map and identify what patterns are keeping you stuck.  We do this through a series of four questions that guide you to identify how you are moving toward or away from your goals, and how your internal experience as well as your behavior play a role in that dynamic.  Let’s start with the bottom right quadrant.

Quadrant 1 (bottom right - moving toward, inner experience)

What matters to me?  What is important to me?  What values do I hold?

Write a list in this quadrant of what is most important to you.  Aim for about 4-5 people, things, concepts, values that are most significant.  Reflect on what they mean for you.  For example, if one of your values is “happiness,” consider what your ideal picture of happiness would look like.

Quadrant 2 (bottom left – moving away, inner experience)

What thoughts, feelings, urges, or other internal experiences get in the way of living into those values?  What limits me from being able to have what is important to me?

Reflect on the internal experience that gets in the way of the full expression of those values.  Perhaps your lack of confidence prevents you from being able to date and pursue marriage, which is valuable to you.  Maybe you feel bouts of intense sadness and grief over the loss of a loved one, which is preventing you from living out your goal to achieve at work or pursue friendships.

Quadrant 3 (top left – moving away, outer experience)

When I have the thoughts and feelings in quadrant 2, what do I do?  How do I respond in observable behaviors?

Now it’s time to see how these thoughts and feelings influence your behaviors and how you respond.  These may include attempts at coping with the troubling internal experience, for better or for worse.  What you’re looking for here is anything that moves you away from what is important to you.  For example, you may find yourself overeating every time you feel lonely.  Or you drink more when you’re dealing with a storm of insecure thoughts. Perhaps you withdraw and isolate from others when you’re feeling lonely or rejected.

Quadrant 4 (top right – moving toward, outer experience)

What can I do to move me toward what is important to me?

The ultimate goal of this guide map is to help you brainstorm and define ways to increase movement toward the things that are important to you.  By reflecting on the first three quadrants, you may be able to clarify for yourself what behaviors support your values and goals.  You might identify initiating a date with your spouse as an action that moves you toward intimacy in your marriage.  Or you might include exercise or getting more sleep if one of your values involves health and fitness.

Feedback Loops

Often where we get stuck is in the interplay between quadrants two and three.  Look at the behaviors you listed in quadrant 3.  When you engage in those behaviors, how do they impact your thoughts, feelings, urges, and inner experience?  Typically, they either reinforce the internal experience that’s already happening, or they create another inner dynamic that moves you away from what you value.

When we have an inner experience that is challenging, distressing, or painful, we respond to that experience with behaviors that reinforce it and send us back into the pain.  No wonder we find ourselves stuck in those loops!  But there’s good news: once you’re aware that this feedback loop is happening, you can change the way you interact with it, often by using the behaviors involved in quadrant 4.

Compassion

One strength of the ACT matrix approach is looking at these behaviors with a nonjudgmental lens.  When you see where they fit on this road map, you can identify how they function. All behaviors have a function and work to serve that function, even if they seem confusing or counterintuitive.  Another way to explain this is that everything you do works for you in some way – otherwise, you wouldn’t be doing it.  What you need to ask yourself is what function that behavior is serving in your life.

For example, if you find yourself endlessly scrolling through social media, perhaps that behavior is serving a numbing function.  Maybe it is a way to feel connected when you’re isolated from loved ones.  Or perhaps it’s a springboard for creative ideas.  Each of these potential functions (and sometimes a combination of several) drives and motivates this behavior. 

Seek to offer kindness to yourself and explore where you are on the continuum without judgment, exploring where you might want to go and what steps you can take to get there.

Agency

Some versions of this matrix include a circle at the center that overlaps all quadrants.  This circle represents you as the observer, becoming aware of the system of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that influence you.  Awareness of the system can lead you to reflect on what’s in charge of the systems in place: for example, who is in charge of choosing what’s important to you (quadrant 1)?  Who is having these thoughts and emotional responses (quadrant 2)? Who is acting on these behaviors in response to the thoughts and feelings (quadrant 3)? The answer to all these questions is you.

This demonstrates how much agency you have over these areas of your life, empowering you to change.  If you are the one in charge, then you are the one capable of creating change in your life.  You can become aware of the feedback loops in your life and explore alternative options.  You can learn new skills to move you toward what is important to you.  Even small changes like intentional mindful breathing can shift your experience between your inner and outer world, demonstrating the control you have over your moment-by-moment experience.

Spend a day observing your movement on this ACT matrix: how your thoughts and actions influence how connected you are to your inner or outer experience, or how much you are moving toward what feels important or moving away from it. Become more conscious of the behaviors that move you toward what matters to you and to reduce the intensity of the feedback loops you experience.

If you find yourself noticing these patterns but still feeling stuck or unable to change, that’s where a good therapist can help you work through those stuck points. 

Additional ACT Matrix Resources

• Kevin Polk, one of the creators of the ACT Matrix, has trainings to understand this concept further through his ACT Matrix Academy.

• Mark Webster, another contributor to the matrix, has a three-part YouTube series demonstrating how it works.

• Jacob Martinez, an ACT matrix trainer, has resources at his ACT Naturally website.

Taking Courage Through the Storms of Life: A Reflection on the TED Connects Talk by Elizabeth Gilbert

If you’re reading this article in real-time, we’re all learning how to manage emotions through a major, unprecedented, global crisis in COVID-19.  We’re all being affected in some way, even though those specific patterns look different from person to person. 

Yet many of us will, at some point in our lives, walk through our own personal crises or traumas.  The loss of a job.  The betrayal of a spouse or partner.  The death of a loved one.  

Elizabeth Gilbert, author and creative thinker, recently was featured on an episode of TED Connects processing responses to the COVID-19 crisis.  In her talk, she shares reflections on emotional impact of this crisis and ways to shift thinking and behavior in order to offer more compassion and grace for ourselves.  While the principles in this video fit the crisis we’re facing collectively right now, they also shed have universal principles for personal crises you may face.

Here are a few of the key takeaways I gathered from listening to this talk.

Anxiety

Gilbert encourages us to give ourselves mercy and compassion for any emotions we experience through this crisis.  When we realize that our experience is normal and that everyone is going through or would go through some version of this same response, it helps take some of the pressure off to have it all together.  When you’re in a personal crisis, finding a grief or support group or talking with someone who’s been through this crisis before can be a great help, as it hits home that you aren’t alone and others understand what you’re going through.

Recognizing your resilience is another component she shares that will help you have confidence to make it through your crisis.  Reflect on past experiences that have been challenging or painful. Remind yourself of how you made it through and what allowed you to do so.  Review this list when you find yourself struggling to maintain compassion or courage despite the crisis.

Practicing presence and gratitude are also important.  Instead of numbing out or trying to escape, pay attention to the emotions you’re experiencing in the present, even if they’re uncomfortable.  Notice the things that you have in your life that you are grateful for. Make lists and speak these words of appreciation out loud.

She also highlights the myth of control: anxiety comes out of believing that we’re in control of our lives, when in reality we have little to no control over our circumstances.  We are only in control of our own actions, beliefs, thoughts, and choices.  When you surrender control, you’re allowing yourself to be released from the burden of anxiety and the myth that you can be in control of your circumstance.

“Surrender means letting go of something you never even had.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert

Loneliness

Living through a crisis can be an inherently isolating experience, and you likely have to cope with loneliness in a new way.  Notice your tendencies toward escaping or avoiding and how the crisis may have removed some of those coping mechanisms.  Recognize the ways your behaviors function as a way for you to withdraw from painful emotions.  Consider exploring negative emotions that arise, journaling through them, asking yourself what you fear and what you run from. 

Use this crisis as a way to get to know your mind and practice shifting your thinking.  You might notice more self-doubt, criticism, judgment, or fear.  Take inventory of your self-defeating thoughts so you can recognize them when they arise and begin to fact-check them with reality.  Just like focusing more on gratitude, this mindset shift requires intentional action.  You can literally change structures in your brain as you begin to make these shifts.

“The hardest person in the entire world to be with is yourself.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert

Productivity and Creating

While discussing creativity during a crisis, Gilbert references the fact that she prefers following “curiosity” rather than purpose and passion.  What might change in your life if you focused more on following your curiosity? Rather than focusing on what you “should” be doing, consider what you’re curious about and move toward that. 

Recognize that anxiety and fear stifle your ability to be productive or creative as well.  The content you consume impacts your mind and your capacity to focus.  Instead of trying to shame or beat yourself up into being more productive, release those “shoulds” and give yourself more freedom.

She also suggests reframing the crisis as a retreat, or a stimulus for learning.  She suggests doing what you used to do as a child, returning to play, as a way of coping with the difficult emotions that arise and awakening greater creativity within yourself.

A Note on Spirituality

Much of what Elizabeth shares in this TED talk is interwoven with her spiritual understanding.  While I disagree with the foundations of her spirituality, I think she offers concepts that can be adapted to a Christian worldview and can lead you to take a more grace-filled approach toward yourself in a season of crisis.  If you also share Christian beliefs, I encourage you to consider how some of the following ideas may help you.

Write a letter to yourself from God.

Near the end of the video, Elizabeth shares a practice that she engages in daily where she writes a letter to herself from “love.”  As I listened to her read her example letter aloud, I realized that the words “love” was saying to her were strikingly similar to how God speaks and comforts His people – phrases such as, “I’m with you.”  “I’ve got this.”  “You are my beloved.”  The connection between these words of love and God comes through the understanding that God is love (1 John 4:16) and that His perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18).

How might you write a letter to yourself from the point of view of God, who loves you unconditionally (Romans 8:35-39) and has promised to be with you forever (Matthew 28:20)? What would God say to you in your current circumstance, in your pain, in your struggle?  If you struggle to hear God’s voice as a voice of love, start out by reading 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and replace the word “love” with “God.”  If God is all of the things listed in that passage, how might he speak to you? 

Surrender control through prayer.

As mentioned earlier, releasing anxiety involves recognizing that you never had control in the first place.  We are not in control, but God is (Colossians 1:16-17).  When you recognize your powerlessness over your circumstance, you can use prayer as a way to remind yourself of this fact.  Refocusing on prayer helps us to come back to God and surrender to Him what we cannot control. 

I reference the Serenity prayer often because I think its simple structure provides a framework for releasing control and seeking wisdom.  It goes like this: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Listen to the Holy Spirit.

In the talk, Elizabeth shares a story about a woman who became dangerously lost on a hike.   She offered up a prayer of surrender when she realized she was in trouble and felt led by her intuition to act in a way that would preserve her safety.  This reminded me of the importance of asking for wisdom and guidance from God (James 1:5) and being open to the Holy Spirit’s direction and leading (John 16).  Of course, it is important to compare where we feel led by the Spirit to Scriptural truth to determine its validity, but it was a helpful reminder to listen to where God is leading rather than trying to figure it all out on our own.